LOVING WELL

February 2026

Valentine’s Day. Romantic love. Friendship love. Agape love.

Hearts decorate our cards, candy, cakes, and wrapping paper.

The heart, however, symbolizes more than emotional love.

In the miraculous way that God has designed our bodies, our hearts listen and respond to every signal our nervous system sends.

When stress is high, these signals occur:

• Cortisol rises
• Blood pressure elevates
• Blood vessels constrict
• Inflammation accelerates
• Heart rate increases
• Anxiety intensifies
• Sleep fragments
• Digestion upsets
• Immune systems weaken

The heart wants us to pay attention. These signals point to dysregulation. Can we slow down and figure out why? This is so important because it’s very hard to love well when our nervous systems are dysregulated. You can’t love yourself well. You can’t love others well.

Studies reveal that . . .

• When cortisol is high, you can become self-critical.
• When histamines are elevated, you can become reactive.
• When blood sugar is unstable, you can become impatient.
• When sleep is disrupted, your compassion can narrow.
• Your biology is overwhelmed.
• Your brain is scanning for threats.
• You often experience the fight, flight, or freeze response.

Your coping mechanisms and survival strategies are in control.

Love moves away from gentleness, patience, and self-control.

Love can begin to look manipulative, co-dependent, or neglectful.

The Apostle Paul’s letter to the new church in Corinth is about regulation. He steps into their confusion and discord with tranquility and calm. He seeks to diffuse their heightened nervous systems by reminding them what life in Christ, community in Christ, is meant to resemble: humility, service, forgiveness, and grace.

Step by step, paragraph by paragraph, sometimes gently and sometimes with forceful admonishment, Paul speaks truth in love. It is not by accident that his famous chapter on love, I Corinthians 13, is near the end of his missive. His regulating wisdom culminating with these well-known phrases:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Love is more than flowers, hearts, and chocolate.

Regulated love undergirds our well-being.

Regulated love builds up community.

Regulated love keeps us grounded in the authentic love of Christ.

This is why our role as the Global Coordinators for Spiritual Care, and our colleague Rhonda Reed’s role as the Global Coordinator for Mental Health & Wellness, are so important.

We walk beside our colleagues, nurturing relationships, listening to the lows and highs of normal life on the field so that when a high-stress event unfolds we are available to offer co-regulation. We remind our colleagues that they are not alone. We help normalize responses and create spaces of regulation. When our nervous systems settle, our inflammation lowers, and our heart rates decrease, we judge less, we breathe deeper, we can be authentically present with one another. Regulated love allows global servants to love well and to thrive in their countries of service.  We embody John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

In the same way that we support our colleagues, your support of our ministry offers us regulation. Your prayers, visits, & financial support are the heartbeat of tangible love in our lives! Mission in God’s world is never a solitary endeavor. Thank you for loving us well.

With love and gratitude,

David and Joyce

Global Coordinators for Spiritual Care

International Ministries

Sources:

• Cochrane, Teri, “The Heart of the Matter: Stress, Histamine, & Why Love Begins Within,” February 12, 2026, blog.
• Jones, Alicia, “Signs that Stress is Affecting Your Brain,” January 25, 2012. blog.
• Marcelle Pick, Are You Tired and Wired?, New York, NY: Hay House, 2011.
• McKay, Lisa, “Understanding and Coping with Traumatic Stress: Online Training Module One,” Pasadena, CA: Headington Institute, 2007.